My Testimony

My heart pounding, my hand hands clenched into fists, tears streaming down my face, my feet firmly planted on the floor, betraying my will. I stood in the midst of a crowd; one in a number of many. I, however, was completely oblivious to all but one man. He stood above the crowd, on a platform, speaking to this crowd of many. His words were burning inside me. He offered hope, forgiveness, he offered me life. As I thought about all the broken parts of my life, emotion filled me. Realization overcame me. I needed what this man was offering. But I couldn’t grasp it. The man told all to come, to pray at the alter that stood below him. My feet however were planted firmly. Even though every once of my soul wanted to kneel, wanted to pour myself into it I couldn’t get them to move. My feet told me that I was unworthy. They reminded me that I had tried this once before. But I had failed. “God doesn’t want you anymore, all you are to him is a failure”, a small voice inside my head whispered. You are nothing; your life cannot be fixed. You are only capable of making mistakes again. A waterfall of tears cascaded down my face. All I could think about was how sorry I was, and how much I wished that I could go that alter and allow Jesus back into my life once more. The man spoke once more and this time his words set me free. It was like Jesus put the words into the man’s mouth. Jesus wants you to come to him more than you want to go. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. There is nothing that Jesus will not forgive you for. Jesus wants to forgive you. He pleads to the father on your behalf. At that moment my world changed. My feet were no longer planted, but weightless. It was like I glided up to the alter. I knelt, and I prayed. I prayed with such force, that energy radiated through me. Jesus filled my soul. I prayed with such earnest that I know the heaven’s heard my cry. Jesus forgave me, I wasn’t worthless but God’s child. I wasn’t a failure. I had obey God when I knelt at that alter. That day, I left my sin and my burdens on the alter. I left my life in the hands of God. And I have never regretted it since. My God is amazing, my God is the only one worth praise. When I lifted my head that night I had victory in my heart. I cried. As I thought about all the broken parts of my life, emotion filled me. But this time, it wasn’t sorrow. It was happiness. I rejoiced. I had been forgiven. I had been set free. I praised the God from whom all blessings fall. I got through. Now I face my days with my heart pounding, my hands clenched into fists, tears streaming down my face, and my feet firmly planted into the will of God.