My Testimony

My heart pounding, my hand hands clenched into fists, tears streaming down my face, my feet firmly planted on the floor, betraying my will. I stood in the midst of a crowd; one in a number of many. I, however, was completely oblivious to all but one man. He stood above the crowd, on a platform, speaking to this crowd of many. His words were burning inside me. He offered hope, forgiveness, he offered me life. As I thought about all the broken parts of my life, emotion filled me. Realization overcame me. I needed what this man was offering. But I couldn’t grasp it. The man told all to come, to pray at the alter that stood below him. My feet however were planted firmly. Even though every once of my soul wanted to kneel, wanted to pour myself into it I couldn’t get them to move. My feet told me that I was unworthy. They reminded me that I had tried this once before. But I had failed. “God doesn’t want you anymore, all you are to him is a failure”, a small voice inside my head whispered. You are nothing; your life cannot be fixed. You are only capable of making mistakes again. A waterfall of tears cascaded down my face. All I could think about was how sorry I was, and how much I wished that I could go that alter and allow Jesus back into my life once more. The man spoke once more and this time his words set me free. It was like Jesus put the words into the man’s mouth. Jesus wants you to come to him more than you want to go. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. There is nothing that Jesus will not forgive you for. Jesus wants to forgive you. He pleads to the father on your behalf. At that moment my world changed. My feet were no longer planted, but weightless. It was like I glided up to the alter. I knelt, and I prayed. I prayed with such force, that energy radiated through me. Jesus filled my soul. I prayed with such earnest that I know the heaven’s heard my cry. Jesus forgave me, I wasn’t worthless but God’s child. I wasn’t a failure. I had obey God when I knelt at that alter. That day, I left my sin and my burdens on the alter. I left my life in the hands of God. And I have never regretted it since. My God is amazing, my God is the only one worth praise. When I lifted my head that night I had victory in my heart. I cried. As I thought about all the broken parts of my life, emotion filled me. But this time, it wasn’t sorrow. It was happiness. I rejoiced. I had been forgiven. I had been set free. I praised the God from whom all blessings fall. I got through. Now I face my days with my heart pounding, my hands clenched into fists, tears streaming down my face, and my feet firmly planted into the will of God.

Making your room a positve enviroment.

I would like to stress the importance of being open with the people around you. It is hard to share your feelings with someone else; however, it relives a lot of stress and uncertain feelings. During your college experience I believe that it is vital that you are open, with your roommates. For example if something your roommate is doing happens to be getting on your nerves then you should kindly explain to them that it is bothering you. A lot of times, they will respond very well and try to stop. But in order for them to stop you must make an effort to share your feelings, even when you don’t want to. Regardless of weather or not you are angry, upset, or feeling discouraged. Oftentimes I find myself over thinking things, which leaves me with crazy ideas that my roommates no longer except me, or that they want me to move out. Sometimes I just feel far away from them, or like I am unable to connect with them. When I share this with them, they almost always are feeling the same way. And together we fix the problem. Every time that I have shared my feelings with my roommates it has helped me tremendously. It put a stop to the crazy ideas running through my head, and I was able to connect with them. If you are open with your roommates, and tell them how you are feeling, it makes it easier to live with them. It prevents fighting, and gets rid of empty thoughts. Overall, it simply makes your room and positive environment.

Prayer

I often times think about where I would be without people praying for me. I think about how many people are praying for me, and how many pleas the Lord receives on my behalf. Then I think about how thankful I am for these prayers. I know that without them. I wouldn't be at GBS. And that is not an exaggeration. This summer I ran from God. I wasn't going to Bible College. I was going to take a year off. But the dear saint in my church had seen how the Lord had been working in my life, and how much I wanted to do God's will in the past and it broke their hearts to see me backslidden. My Pastor and his wife prayed for me, with a yearning in their heart that I wish I had. My Pastor's parents and his wife prayed and continue to pray for me daily. I awe at the great power of prayer. It gives me hope when I encounter people that are unsaved. It makes me know that if I am persistent, sincere, and have faith that God is listening and answering then my friends and family will come to know Christ. I wouldn't be here, writing this blog if it wasn't for prayer. And I have complete trust that my loved ones will one day come to know Christ because of the people that are praying for them.

Drama

Even though I don’t know you, I can guarantee that you have been a part of, or experienced Drama. I know that, going to public school made it impossible for me escape it. Public Schools are full of drama but that isn’t the only place that drama resides. Drama is a part of work, Christian schools, gyms, churches. Anywhere someone knows someone else. In work places and school drama is what it is. It is people creating little situations in to huge ones. It is people gossiping about things that they know nothing about. However in churches, I think that drama and gossiping is disguised. Often times I think that people will take a situation and turn it into a prayer request so that they are able to freely talk about other people with out feeling guilty. The situation does indeed need to be prayed about often times. But some of the members of the church take great joy in being able to tell other people about the things that fellow Christians are doing wrong, or the juicy details in a scandals event. Things like that can easily ruin a church. It is the simple things like this that slowly creep up on us. Often we don’t realize it is happening until there is a major blowout that causes severe damage. I often have to check myself when I want to share a request. I ask my self what details need to be shared in order for it to be effectively prayed out. And my true intentions in giving the details that I do.

Relationships

As I was talking with some friends, I realized what the devil's greatest weapon is. Relationships, our lives are centered, filled and created around relationships. Relationships are what make our lives complete. They are healthy, and encouraging. However, they are also very dangerous. They are what the devil uses to distract us from God and will. When we have a strong relationship someone, we care about what they think about us, what they want us to do. That can distract us from what are real purpose is, and what God wants us to do. We try to please those that we have strong relatinships with. Sometimes we find ourselves caring to much about what those people think and not enough about what God thinks.